I had been planning on writing up this post weeks ago, but it’s not always so easy to just sit down and write these days, so while Rhys is home and Mila is asleep I figured I’d start this post… and hopefully finish it. Apologies now for the amount of rambling that will probably be in this post.
People had been asking if I had a birth plan and I know in some of the books you are given it talks about writing a birth plan to take with you and give to the midwives so they know what you do and don’t want, I’ve also heard plenty of stories of people’s birth plans going completely out of the window so with that in mind I never bothered to write anything down, the only thing I really said is that I’d like to do it on just gas and air and other than that I was pretty easy going.
Having said that, even my small plan went out of the window. Mila had been given a high risk result of having Down Syndrome and on top of that one of the arteries in the umbilical cord wasn’t working how it should, which resulted in her being small.
At 33 weeks I was given a dose of steroids to help her lungs develop because they wanted to look at taking her own at 34 weeks, this I wasn’t happy with, I wanted to keep her in there as long as they could and they agreed to that with twice weekly scans and twice weekly monitoring – so yes I was at the hospital 4 days a week being checked over, not ideal but it meant that I could keep her cooking. It was then decided that I would be induced at 38 weeks because she had had a good little growth spurt but they still didn’t want to leave her in there to term, 37 weeks was my aim so I was more than happy to get to 38 weeks. I was booked in on the morning of the day I was 38 weeks.
Mila on the other hand had some ideas of her own and decided to make her entrance of her own accord the day before we were to be induced, which I am majorly thankful for because I have heard the horror stories of people being induced and it taking days.
Great you must be thinking, and yes on the one hand it was, but I had been having what I thought was Braxton hicks from 4pm on the Tuesday afternoon. Wednesday morning I went to the hospital for my monitoring session and then headed to my 38 week midwife appointment. The pains were getting a little stronger but nothing more than a bad period pain so I still thought nothing of it. I arrived home after my appointments about 1pm and it was like someone just flipped a switch. They were no longer period like pains and I then had blood on my pad, which I wasn’t sure if it was ‘the show’ or not seeing as this was my first baby.
I phoned the hospital at about 1.15pm and they told me to take two paracetamol, have a potter around, maybe have a bath. Phone Rhys if I wanted him to come home and look after me and give them another call in a couple of hours. After speaking with them I checked my clean pad and there was a lot more there this time, so I was fairly certain it was ‘my show’ and the pains I was getting were so much more painful, I was also feeling like I needed to push, but you hear so many things about how you shouldn’t until you are 10cm dilated and with me being at home I didn’t know how dilated I was so with every contraction I just tried my best to breath through it and not push.
1.30pm I phoned Rhys and said I don’t know how close we are to anything happening but I thought it was best he came home, luckily he only works a 10 minute drive from our house. He came home to find me roaming around on the bed trying to breath through it, he started to time my contractions, which I believe were about 1-2 minutes apart but I was so out of it I can’t quite remember what he said.
2.20pm we eventually got in the car (I had half my bag packed, Rhys had to through a bunch of stuff in there last minute), I couldn’t sit down so I had to get in the back seat on all fours, not glamorous at all. We arrived at the hospital and as soon as I got out of the car and stood up my waters went. I’d say it took us about 10-15 minutes to get from the car to the labour ward as I had to stop 8 times for contractions.
So at somewhere around 3.05pm we got to the labour ward and the midwives took me to a room, I got on the bed as they just wanted to check me over, one lift of the towel over my legs and they wheeled me straight to a delivery room. Moved me onto another bed and told me to push. All a bit delirious I remember asking for the drugs, but I apparently didn’t have time for any, not even gas and air. Three pushes and her head was out then one more push and Mila made her entrance at 3.22pm weighing a tiny 4lb 4oz.
I had 3 midwives in the room and 4 doctors decided to just walk in and watch as well. It was quite unnerving, there I was pushing out a baby and they just decided to come in for a look. One happened to be one that I had seen previous as he had done a couple of my scans.
Don’t get me wrong here, I am so thankful she came so quickly and that I wasn’t in labour for days but as great as that was, I feel like I didn’t have the time to prepare myself, I was at home going about my day and then within a couple of hours I was handed this tiny baby who was given to me then taken off me then given back then taken again, everything happened so quickly I didn’t really feel a bond. As much as it pains me to say it, it took me about 8 weeks so really fall head over heels for her. I just didn’t feel that overwhelming love for her like everyone else did.
It took my placenta 58 minutes to come out, it didn’t detach like it should have. Two of the midwives tried to pull it out gently, I had two injections to help and also a catheter to see if that would help, but to no avail. So they started to prep me for theatre, two of the doctors came back. They gave me some gas and air as they basically stuck their fingers in and pulled it from the wall. I’d say that hurt more than giving birth but I suppose the adrenaline has disappeared by then, but it was that or have an epidural and have it taken out in theatre.
So all in all it was a bit of a blur, everything happened so quickly and having so many people coming in and out I think is what attributed to it taking me so long to bond properly with Mila. I do have to say though that all the midwives who I saw were fantastic, I couldn’t have asked for better people to look after Mila and I.